By Judy Richardson, Revised in 2025 from an article in Iowa Parent, 1999.
As a new parent, there is nothing more beautiful than your baby. Yes, even covered with yuck and yelling its head off, that little “flesh of our flesh and blood of our blood” is a marvelous miracle. How sweet, how wonderful…what a beautiful baby.
As baby grows, he or she may be the perfect Gerber baby look alike. Some babies really are physically beautiful. Others, let’s face it, are what your Aunt Hattie would call plain. In a culture where picture perfect beauty is so highly valued, you might wish your little darling had gorgeous blue eyes, plenty of curly hair and dimpled cheeks. Even babies are judged early by others based on their looks. Just as children and grownups begin to feel self-conscious or embarrassed by unattractive features and their failure to match the standards of today “beauty” obsessed society, babies can sense negative attitudes toward them.
Psychologists have studied the reactions of babies to smiling faces. If you want to test this yourself, smile at the next little baby you meet. By the time they are old enough to smile ( six weeks) babies begin to respond to the smiles of parents and others. They recognize a smile as a sign of warmth and positive attention. By the same token, babies respond negatively to hostile or different facial cues. Even sadder is the observation that people confronting a less that “beautiful” baby or a baby who is injured or handicapped in some way had a tendency to turn away or frown. Babies constantly subjected to such a reaction become withdrawn and listless.
Not long ago, I stood in a grocery store aisle and watched people looking at babies. One little girl had a physical feature that affected her face. I noticed that several people turned away from the child or avoided looking at her directly. The baby would smile as someone approached and then when she saw their reaction, she looked confused. Her smile faded away.
Just that little self-conducted test was enough for me. I vowed from then on to make eye contact with the babies that came into my world and smile at them. I also say with sincerity to the baby’s parents that they have a beautiful baby. Sometimes the parents of the “not so physically beautiful” child seem a bit surprised. They have also noticed that their child does not seem to get approval of those who meet it.
Because every baby is a miracle of life, a unique little person needing love and smiles to thrive, all of us must treat them as the most beautiful child in the world. Whether you are a mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma or grandpa, or just a passing stranger in the grocery store, the babies in your life need your smile. Not all of our children are ugly ducklings destined to be swans. Not every adult is admired because of a beautiful face or a perfect body. Children are even more vulnerable to disinterest and distain. They have no way of understanding the shallow and mean-spirited values of those who judge others by what is outside rather those who are beautiful within.
So smile at the babies and give them feeling that they are loved and treasured, whether they are yours or just a bit of heaven that passes your way.
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