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On Behalf of All Seniors-My Plastic Rant with Apologies to Lewis Black

by Judy Richardson | Published July 6, 2021

Our fingers are not as agile, and our strength is not so hot.  But as time passes there no stopping this process of wrapping absolutely everything in PLASTIC. Not only that, those cute little, theft- free packages are everywhere.  You must use scissors or a knife to open even the smallest package. Let us also not forget that most plastic never leaves the landfill.

Just in the last few weeks I needed scissors to open up a package of scissors.  Some erasers I bought were wrapped in plastic and inside each individual eraser was also wrapped. Pens, paper, ink cartridges for your printer and tools. Many come wrapped in what is almost iron hard heavy plastic. Toys, CD’s and games are wrapped up tight.  Sometimes you get so frustrated trying to open the darn whatever, you just want to shred the contents to bits.

Let us move on to the grocery store where the madness continues. All kinds of meat and produce are wrapped in plastic.  There are plastic containers for fruit that defy opening. Others are so flimsy the start to leak before you get the home. Plastic wrapped meat keeps one side of the cut invisible.  How can you see how good a cut it might be?  Soda pop and water are wrapped in plastic that must be cut off to remove so you can get the #**x plastic bottles out. And oh, those plastic six pack holders have those connected plastic rings which make getting a single bottle hard to do and strangle birds and animals. Do you pull it from the bottom or up from the top? I now just cut up all the plastic holder before I put it in the fridge. Snip, snip, snip.

Let us not forget the seals on every kind bottle that must be pulled off by picking up a tiny little bit on the side and pulling before you can pour any milk, juice or coffee creamer. Even my beloved peanut butter has a heavy plastic and foil cover.  While I understand that all this packaging is supposed to preserve the freshness and tell us that what is inside is safe to consume, failure to check the expiration date is also just as important. I miss the soda pop bottles with the tops that were metal and could be opened with a church key. Glass bottles are now mostly reserved for beer which is not in my refrigerator anymore. The plastic lids of soda pop and even bottled water are sometime really hard to screw off.

Should you choose to by a package of frozen chicken wings, the “easy close bag is far from easy to open initially and even harder to reclose after you have opened it the first time. The “tear here” is laughable. Have your scissors handy at all times. A tranquilizer might also help.

I must also comment on the over-the-counter drug store packaging because we all have been “so impressed” by their efforts to keep us safe.  My biggest issue is with those push down and screw directions. Sometimes no matter how many times I push and screw the darn bottle will not open. I am glad you can ask the pharmacist to put easy open tops on my blood pressure medicine. There are no children in this home to protect.  Trying to open any kind of “child proof” package is liable to also be “senior citizen” proof.  

Sad to say this list is endless. I just wanted my readers to know they are not alone in their frustration. I am betting you all can recall a package you had to fight with to open. For my next rant I plan to discuss and cuss those sticky glued labels that deface what we buy and can’t even be scrapped off with a razor blade.

Also posted in The Good Ole Days